Why the hell does Mom have to show me her ass every time she comes home...?

You should be thanking Mrs. Natasha Nice for coming to your house to clean up the mess you've made, young man. And if she showed you her ass like you say, it was probably just an accident, no bad intentions. Because, damn it, if she wanted sex, she'd have sex with any man. So stop talking nonsense, and if you want to hook up with her, the best thing to do is tell her...